The Pause Button

The Pause Button

What if we all had a pause button installed? Once I had a roommate, who would say, “please hold…processing" as if he was an early model computer presenting an hour glass symbol as it worked to process the new requests and information. How valuable to have a pause button. How many less regrets would we have for choices we wish had been not made, or perhaps had had said yes to?

Installing a pause button can be relatively simple using the “Grandma Principle”, “if you finish your chores then you can have some cookies”. In this case Grandma is not going to always be beside us however we can still use her concept to put more of our true computing power online.

Every computer and every brain has its overload point. What signals that you may currently be overloaded or poised to react too quickly?

Stop, truly take a step back and consider one or more times that you made a choice that you later regretted.

Consider if there was an intuitive knowing that you should have held off making such that decision or responding the way you had. “HALT” suggests that if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired that you should address these needs before plunging deeper or taking any further action. I encourage you to reflect upon our own internal signals you may be heading toward overload and at risk of making a choice that you will regret.

Promoting long term desired outcomes is achieved by learning how and when to make decisions. The pause button can enable you to step back and further assess if this is the time to act or pause. What are some strategies that you could use to activate the pause button?

I suggest:

1. Identify patterns or signals that you are heading toward overload or reactive response mode.
2. Identify 2-3 go to strategies to “buy some time” such as:
   1. Saying to yourself or others "this feels like something I have to give some more thought to".
   2. Using a simple breathing technique of inhaling, holding, exhaling, holding and repeating to a count such as 5. Inhale to a count of 5, hold for 5, exhale for 5, hold for 5 and repeat….
   3. ????
3. Consider my father’s story of nails in the fence. A boy was taught to manage his anger by pounding nails in a fence rather than striking others. Once able to manage his impulse to strike out, he was able to start removing the nails. When the boy asked what to do with the holes in the fence he was told you can try to patch the holes however the marks will always be there.
4. Identify ahead of time your values priority list and “hard stops”; frequently our minds get overloaded by conflicting demands or desires. If your values are to build more understanding and compassion in the world and right now you are feeling like you need to “set them straight here and now”…perhaps it is time for a hard stop, to pause.

I challenge you to see yourself as a work or art that is in process, each day taking the opportunity to “choose again”. Each day to assess what is and has been working for you and what has not. I encourage you to use the pause button often and further connect with your own inner knowing and vision of your best self.

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